Paradise Lost, A Following From Revelation
by BittersweetSymphony-TheVerve
Summary: Josh and Noelle both forgive Reed, but can they all forget? Noelle brings Reed on holiday break to St. Barts, with 2 surprising guests. Reed starts to worry that Noelle might have known Sabine, but she should know that the real truth can turn deadly...
1. Hospitals

_Hi Everyone!_

_This is what I think is going to happen in Paradise Lost; A following from Revelation  
I do not own the Private Series.  
Please Read and Review! That's all I ask!  
Enjoy_

**Chapter 1**:

Hospitals. I hated hospitals. Everything about them makes me feel that earie feeling. The last time I was at a hospital, was when my grandfather died. I was six, and promised myself I would never be back to a hospital again.

Well, I had no choice this time. Since, it was me in the hospital bed. Yes, I had been shot, by no other than, Sabine DuLak, the girl who was my best friend, so I thought. It wasn't serious or anything, I was just shot in the shoulder. If it wasn't for my hero, Josh Hollis, and ex-boyfriend and guy I love, I probably wouldn't even be on this earth.

But yes, my so called "best friend" shot and tried to kill me. The person who i told everything to. The girl who i thought cared about me, was no other than Ariana Osgoods sister. The girl who previously tried to kill me, exactly one year ago. Because she didn't finish the job, Sabine tried to do it for her.

I still couldn't get over that they were sisters. Sisters! They didn't look anything a like. If it wasn't for Ivy Slade, knocking down Sabine's picture, that had Ariana in it, which was folded out, we would still be looking for Cheyenne Martins murder and our stalker.

But it was nice to have closure, finally. To be able to try to live in peace again. But all of this seemed like Deja Vu to me. Since this already happened to me, exactly one year ago. When my boyfriend, Thomas Pearson, was killed by who I thought once again was my best friend and the girl who tried to get me into Billings, only to find out that she just wanted me dead, Ariana.

So far, I figured that Billings was nothing but a burden. I mean, every year, somebody is trying to kill me! Theres only so much a girl can take! And in a few hours, I was going to have to go back there, and act like it was home all over again. Thankfully christmas break was coming, so I would only have a few days there.

My parents had left in the morning, I told them that I was going to be fine, and that they didn't need to stay. Plus my doctor said that I would be able to make a full recovery. They set it up that I could do all of my physical therapy at school, and right now i just needed to rest, which was fine by me.

My best friend, Noelle Lange walked in my room, "All right then. Are you ready to get out of this place, so you can see your new billings room!" she said.

"Noelle, its really nice that you let me back in, but after all of this, I just don't think I can take anymore drama, like for the rest of my life, " I said, with a little laugh.

"I know, but Reed, you belong in Billings. Not at Pemberly." Pemberly was the junior and senior dorm that I had been living in ever since I was kicked out of billings, a while back. Plus, even though me and Ivy had been getting along and she even came to vist me frequent times, it would be nice not to live next to her. I dont know if I could stand her talking on the phone to Josh, whispering sweet nothings at night anymore.

"Fine. But I don't want to be involved with all of that other stuff anymore. I just want to be my own person. Being in here really made me realize that my life is more important than Billings, no offense or anything. Okay?" I said, which was all true.

"Whatever you want. After two near death experiences, I owe you that much," she said. "Now are you ready to get the hell out of this place?"

--

_So...What do you guys think? Please give some reviews, I will not make another chapter unless I get reveiws! I know it was short, but it was the most I could come up with! Give some ideas to! Thanks!_


	2. The Welcome

**Chapter 2:**

"Welcome home!" all of the billings girls shouted. Portia, Constance, Astrid, Missy, Kiki, Rose, Lorna, Tiffany, Amberly, Vienna, Shelby, London and even Ms. Naylor. They had balloons and banners all around that say get well soon, and even presents.

"Ohmygod, we missed you so much!" Astrid and Constance said, running up to me.

"You guys, its been only a few hours!" I said, since they visited me this morning. They came to see me whenever they were aloud to, which was awesome and they were always bringing me different presents to cheer me up, which of course did!

"I know, but we missed you being here," Constance said. "Yeah, it wasn't the same without you," Astrid agreed, in her thick british accent.

"Well, it is nice to be back! But I am tired, and not up for a partying mood right now. Sorry," I said.

"Yeah you guys, plus she still hasn't seen her new room yet, which we are sharing!" Noelle came behind.

"Well, fine. But when you get your rest, we are celbrating!" Astrid said.

"Of course! But don't let me stop your fun, keep going!" I said.

After making my way up the stairs Noelle covered my eyes for me so my new room would be a surprise.

"All right. So how does it look? Now I'm a major slob, so your just going to have to get over that part, sorry." Noelle said, which didn't surprise me.

"I love it, its awesome! Exactly the way I would want it to be," which was true. They did nail it the exact way I wanted it to be. It was in order, and was bright with colors. It was so much better than my old Pemberly room.

"Good. Now I'm going to leave you to get rest. If you need anything, we'll be downstairs. Bye," Noelle said, and walked out.

I finally got some good rest. At the hosptial I slept terribly, since I was afraid of Sabine or Ariana coming after me. I had no idea where they were, and there was a part inside of me, that didn't care. As long as they weren't near me, I knew I would be fine.

After having a nice nap, I was awaken to Noelle knocking on the door. "Hey, somebody is here to see you. Do you want to come down, or send him up?" she asked.

"Who is it?" I asked, intrigued. Since she did say, him.

"Somebody you know well," she winked. "I'll just send him up here," then she left and closed the door.

Who could it be? There was another knock on my door. "Come in." I said.

"Hey," it was Josh. My Josh. My ex-boyfriend Josh. The one who saved my life practically. He visited me all the time at the hospital, and we were finally friends again. We never talked about our relationship, though. Ever since Sabine announced that she spike Dash' and mine' drinks at Legacy with ecstasy, it changed alot of things.

Josh almost hooked up with Cheyenne, who we thought drugged him. But it ended up that, Sabine was held responsible for that to.

"Hey!" I said.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Yeah," and got out of bed to sit on it. I had to reach over to get my shoulder sling, since I couldn't really move without it.

"Hows that doing?" referring to my shoulder.

"Its okay actually, not that bad."

"How are you doing," he asked as he grabbed my desk chair and brought it closer to me.

"I'm okay, for now at least. I'm just trying to hide out in here, until I have to go out there," I said.

"Yeah. So, your back in Billings?" he asked. Billings was the main reason we would fight. He hated Billings, and he though I was better than it. That I didn't need it, but after living in Pemberly, I knew that I needed to come back. Not just for the name, and the title it held, but because the building and the rooms were nicer.

"Yeah. But this time its going to be different. I already told Noelle that the only way I would come back is if things changed. I don't want to be envolved with all of that drama that I was in before. I don't want to feel that I have to go to parties. I don't want to feel that I have to choose between things. I just want to be my own person, and do things on my own. I had alot of thinking time in the hospital, and I decided that things are going to change. They have to," I said.

"Thats really good to hear, Reed. I know when you were in the hospital, we didn't talk about any of this. You really didn't want to hear it. I never got to tell you that I loved the present you got me, and that I miss hanging out with you," he said.

"Me too. I'm glad you like the present!" I said, and he smiled.

"I loved it. It brought back old memories. And, I just really care about you," he said, with hope in his eyes. Maybe he wanted to get back together!

"I never stopped. That night at Legacy, I knew something was wrong. You have to listen to the whole story of it, you'll understand it," I said.

"Fine. Go ahead,"

"So over the summer me and Dash were emailing. It was nothing really, but him and his family came out to the vinyard because they were going to a wedding. Anyway, we hung out a little, but I thought it was all casual. So he came to a party here and I was shocked to see him. He thought that I liked him, but I told him that I just wanted to be friends. So, Noelle told me that she was going to Legacy with him, and I thought I would barely see him there. Well, I remember Sabine slip me drinks, but I thought nothing was wrong. Then Constance gave me the note, that was supposed to be from Dash to meet him up on the roof. The writing on the note seemed girly in a way, I should've realized it, but I felt so wierd and messed up at the time that I didn't. After we got into the fight, I thought you broke up with me, and I was so confused so I went up to the roof. Well, he was there waiting, and he was obviously drugged and so was I, and well, you know the rest," I said.

"Yeah. So did you like him at all?" he asked.

"Oh god, no! I just wanted to be friends. I meen he was my best friends ex, you just dont do that. Plus I loved you. After we got into the fight, I thought we were done. I thought you broke up with me. I was confused," I said and looked down to the ground.

"Well, I guess the same thing happened with you and him, that happened with me and Cheyenne, then. It wasn't you, it was the drugs." he said, starting to understand.

"Yeah," I said, and looked up at him.

"Ivy broke up with me," he said, out of nowhere.

"What? Why? Did it have to do with me?" I asked, shocked.

"No. Well, kind of," he said, and laughed alittle. "She knew that I still loved you, and figured that out when I jumped in front of you when sabine shot the gun. Plus, we were fighting alot lately," he said.

"Wait. You still love me?" I asked, shocked again. Maybe with the whole sabine thing, he had time to think to.

"I never stopped. I just didn't like you for awhile," he said, and smiled at me.

"Well, I didn't like myself either," and we both smiled at each other.

"So, where do we go now?" he asked.

"I don't know? Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"Well, with everything that sabine said, about drugging you, that meens that you didn't actually cheat on me. You were drugged, so I guess I could forgive you about that," he said, and smiled.

"Really?" I said, mysteriously.

"Yeah," he said and got off the chair and came to sit next to me, on my bed. "So, why don't we forget about all that has happened. But under one condition," he said.

"What?"

"We have to promise, both of us, that we will never let this stupid Billings thing get involved with us, ever again. Deal?" he asked.

"That is fine by me!" I said. And then he slipped in, a light tender kiss, which felt so good.

"I really missed, you," he said, and then kissed me again.

"Me too," I said.

"But another thing," he said.

"What?"

"I think it would be a better idea right now, if we kept private. I just don't want to be a jerk or anything to Ivy. I think it'll be a better idea if we were just quiet about this. But after the holidays, we can be as open as we want," he said. That was so sweet of him to do that, to not be a jerk or anything, and it showed his real, true colors, but really, who cares what Ivy or anyone thinks?

"Thats fine. As long as I have you to myself, I'll be happy," I said and slipped in another kiss.

"Oh trust me, you do!" He said, and it felt so nice again to have him to myself, and just to have him. Whether or not we were opened or closed, I had him, once again...

--

_So...What do you think?? Do you like it?? Hate it?? If you have any ideas, please don't hesitate to indulge...Plus, I'm planning on making a long story for this one, so please tell me if you think its stupid! Again, this is what I WANT to happen, in Paradise Lost, plus this is what I think is going to happen! Anyway, hope you liked it! Update soon, once I get alot of reviews!_


	3. Not a Toy

**Chapter 3**:

After saying my goodbyes to Josh, I was about to tell everyone the good news, but then realized I had to keep quiet. My close friends new though, they could just tell, from the look on my face. They didn't say anything though, just smiled at me.

It was only Sunday, and I was able to get out of dinner the night before, but I had to go to breakfast. I really didn't want to face the world again, but Noelle insisted.

"Come on, it won't be that bad. If someone says anything...just trust me, they won't," she said.

"Fine, but I'm trusting you on that one." I said as we headed out the door. It was freezing outside and the wind hit me like a wall. We were almost to the Cafeteria when I saw Ivy. She looked right at me, and smiled, alittle. And started towards us.

"Don't worry, if that bitch says anything, I'll put her in her place," Noelle said, and I had to laugh.

"Hi, Reed," Ivy said, ignoring Noelle completely.

"Hi, Ivy," I said. A little weary, because I didn't know how she was going to act, now that she was done with Josh.

"Reed, can we talk? Alone," she asked, still ignoring Noelle.

I looked at Noelle, "Fine. I'll be over there if you need me though," she said, and left.

"So, you probably heard that me and Josh broke up by now," she said.

"Umm, yeah, I did," I said.

"Well, I don't care if you get back together with him. It wouldn't shock me anyway," she said.

"Thanks,"

"I still can't get over everything that happened, you know? Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm okay. I'm just sleeping with one eye open at night. Do you know what happened, to her?" I asked.

"She's in police custody right now. As long as she's away from us, I'm fine," she said.

"Yeah, me too. So, how are you doing with all of this?"

"I'm good. You turned out to be different then what I thought you would be, Reed. I thought you were like all of those other clones, but your not. Josh was right about you, now I know why he likes you so much," she said.

"Really?" I asked, shocked. Josh must have talked about me to her.

"Yeah. So I was wandering if we could be friends? And trust me, me and Josh are done with. So you don't have to worry about that." she said and put her hand out as a peace offering.

"Friends!" and we shook on it, "So, if you don't mind me asking, why did you break up with him?"

"He told you, that I broke up with him?" she asked, and I nodded. "I didn't break up with him, he broke up with me! I can't believe he told you that I broke up with him, wierd," she said. I was shocked. I can't believe he lied. Why did he lie?

"That is. Oh crap, Noelle's waiting, I've gotta go. But we'll talk later. I'll call you!" I said.

"Yeah, call me," she said and we waved bye.

--

Facing the music was harder than what I thought. Breakfast was pretty tough. I kept hearing whispers and snickers all throughout it. I luckily had Noelle at my side, and Josh was talking to me.

"So, we still are on for St. Barts, right Reed?" Noelle asked. About 2 months ago, Noelle asked me if I wanted to go to St. Barts with her and her family for christmas, and I said yes. but since we got into a fight i didnt know if that was still on.

"Om my god, yes! St. Barts! That would be so awesome!" I said.

"Great. We'll set the info up later on. I was thinking about leaving next sunday, but I say for your sake, we leave friday? What do you think?" she asked.

"The earlier, the better! The quicker I can get of this place, the happier I will be," I said. "I can't wait, really. Noelle, thanks for inviting me."

"No problem. Plus you need a little R&R. As your best friend, you should know that you could use a good tan. You look a little pasty and thin. Also the circles around your eyes keep growing. Promise me, you will sleep tonight?"

"I promise. And thanks for the tough love," I said jockingly.

"Jusk ask, I'm open for disscussion," she said.

"So Noelle," Amberley said, as she came to the table. I was sooo glad I didn't have to room with her. I told Noelle that the only way I would go back to Billings, is if I didn't have to room with her. She turned out to be a total bitch, "I heard your little convo. Reed, your joining us?" she asked me.

"Yes I am. And I'm sooo excited!" I said.

"Thats wonderful, so did your dad sell one of his cows back at the farm in Bumblefuck, PA, to pay your way?" she asked. What. A total. Bitch. Everyone always got on my case that my family wasn't rich, just average. And it really started to bug me.

"Amberley! That is not called for. Reed is now and will always be a Billings girl, so if I were you I would start treating her like one. Remember, she was once President, which means once I'm gone, shes next in line, watch it," Noelle snickered to her. That was Noelle, always to come to my defense.

"Whatever," Amberely said, and took a seat next to Noelle.

"Amberley, this table is for Seniors only. Everyone else, seats there," Noelle said and pointed to the next Billings table. Vienna and Portia let out a laugh.

"But she seats here," Amberley said, reffering to me, since I'm only a junior.

"Well, thats different. Buy, bye!" Noelle said, waving. Amberely got up and walked to the other table, slamming her tray down on it.

"Thats classic. I've gotta go, but I'll see you back in the room Noelle, bye," I said and got up to walk away.

"Oh, bye Reed," Noelle said.

I was on my way to the library to pick up a book, but then I got a text from Josh:

**hey. can u meet me at art cemtry? now**

Hmmm? Wonder what he wants, I thought to myself. I texted him back:

**Yea. Be ther in 5.**

I turned from the library and headed to the art cemetery. Since Josh loved art and painting, he helps out there during the week and on the weekends. The last I had been there, was when I caught him with Cheyenne. That image just gave me chills.

I walked inside and saw Josh sitting on the same exact love seat, that him and Cheyenne were sitting on that night. He was busy on his phone when I walked in. "Hey," I said. He just looked up at me and said "Hey," back. Thats it. Nothing but hey.

"So, whats up?" I asked, since he did seem urgent.

"We need to talk, sit down." he sayed and motioned for me to sit. I couldn't though. I couldn't sit on that seat, where Cheyenne once was, and when they almost hooked up.

"I'm better off standing right now," I said. He gave me a look, then rolled his eyes and laughed a little. "What? Its just wierd," I said, in my defense.

"Fine, lets go somewhere else then," as he said that, he got up and motioned me to follow him to another room. I had never been in this room before, it was like a small office, with a little couch.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Its an old office I found last year. I wanted to bring you here this year, but we never had time. It seemed like you were always busy or something, and then we...you know, so here it is," he said and opened his arms to show his findings.

"Its nice," I said and he motioned me to sit on the couch where he was. "So, what did you need to talk about?" I asked. He wasn't looking at me, which wasn't good. He never looked at me, when something was wrong, "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, then turned his head to look at me and smiled. "Just wanted to talk," he said.

"Oh..." Talk? He just wanted to talk? Well, I guess I could do that.

"Yeah. So, what are you doing for the holidays?"

"Oh! I'm going to St. Barts!" I said, then followed silently, "with noelle."

"You're going with Noelle?" he asked. They never got along. Could you blame him though? She blamed Thomas' death on him, and she was always taking time away for me and him.

"Yeah. But its St. Barts!" I said, smiling. All's I got from him was a weak smile. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just...never mind," he said. He looked let down and turned his head to do something on his phone.

"Do you not want me to go with her?" I asked.

"No, I don't," he said flatly, without even looking at me. He was still looking at his phone.

"Are you serious right now?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, and still wouldn't even look at me. Still playing with his phone.

"You can at least look at me!" I yelled. That woke him up.

"Whats your problem? I thought you were done with all of that crap, I knew its was to good to be true," he said. He looked at me with disgust.

"Are you serious?" I jumped to my feet and looked him straight in the eye, "I want to go to St. Barts. Noelle asked me months ago, and just asked me again today. What else would I have done? Christmas in Croton? Thats a good time," I yelled at him.

"God, I'm sorry then. Forget it, just sit down, and relax" he said. I sat down, and he looked away. I grabbed his chin and turned his head so he was looking me straight in the eye.

"Tell me the truth, do you trust me?" I asked. If he tried to turn his head, then he was lying either way. If he didn't turn his head, I would get the truth.

"Yes, I do," he said and was looking me dead in the eye. "I think its to early to get serious. We've been through alot, and I think it would be a better idea if we were just friends right now before we got seriously involved again," he said and turned his head.

"You don't want to get back together, do you?" I asked, and this time I turned my head. I didn't want to know the answer to that one. But he grabbed my chin, so we were looking into each other eyes.

"Yes, I do. But not right now, its to early," I jerked away from him. I couldn't believe he was saying this. Yesterday he was fine. Today, he changed.

"You can't just play with me like that! I'm not a toy," I yelled at him as I got up and reached for the door. I needed out, now. But he grabbed my arm, before I could leave.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking yesterday, okay," he said and turned me around so I was facing him. I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"What? Were you drugged? I think alot of that has been happening lately," I said.

"You know what, I don't need this. I'll see you at lunch," he said and left. Left me there. He, left me! I couldn't believe it. I ran out of there so fast, even with a hurt shoulder I still could run. I saw him look at me, once I got outside, but I just glared at him and shook my head, and ran for Billings. Right now, I couldn't wait to try out those pain pills my doctor prescribed me...

--

_Okay...Don't freak with the whole thing with reed and josh. I have a plan! But I wont spoil... Of course if you want the next chapter, I want some reviews. I saw all the hits i got, and please give me reviews! Plus, I love tough love! Anyway, hope you enjoyed!_

_xoxo Marie!!_


	4. Hero or Not?

**Chapter 4:**

I got to my room, and Noelle wasn't there. Thank, god. I didn't want to deal with her right now. I just wanted to take one of the pain pills my doctor prescribed me, and take a very long nap.

I popped open the pill bottle, grabbed a water and took two. Then I went over to my bed and layed down. I still couldn't believe how Josh treated me. It's like he changed, from being the great boyfriend I once knew, to a guy who didn't care about me at all. Huh, maybe Ivy rubbed off on him a little to much.

Noelle walked into the room, "Hey. Whats wrong?" she asked. She always had a gift to tell when something was wrong.

"Nothing. Just exhausted, and my shoulder is hurting," lie. That was all I had been doing lately.

"Okay. I'll just go downstairs then to get the trip planned. If you need me, just call," she said, and smiled as she walked out of the room.

I knew that Josh hated Noelle, but why couldn't he just accept the fact that she wasn't pure evil? Or, maybe it was me who was blind. Billings did ruin me, and she was a participant in that. Just like she was with Thomas' death. No. No. Reed, don't think like that. You're just tired, you just need to get some sleep, that will knock some sense into you.

Which did. I finally got a full 4 1/2 hours of sleep in. I missed lunch though, but I didn't really care. I checked my shoulder, which I had to go to the infirmary to get cleaned and bandaged. Which I hated to do, but thats what happens when you get shot.

I grabbed my jacket, 3 books that needed to be returned to the library, which I figured I would stop by before the infirmary and my iPhone. I saw that I had 3 missed calls, 1 from Noelle and 2 from Josh. Shocker. He also texted me:

Hey. R u ok? U missed lunch. Please call me...

Seriously? You're the last person I want to talk to. I called Noelle back, and told her I was going to the infirmary. She said that Josh was looking for me, and wanted to meet me in the Quad before dinner. We said our goodbyes, and I was already out the door and half way to the library when I ran into someone.

"Shit," I said, then "Ow," wincing in pain, since the person hit my left shoulder, my bad shoulder.

"Oh I'm sorry," I would've known that voice anywhere. Josh. Great. "Reed! Oh my god. I'm so sorry, here let me help you," he said and picked up my books. The least he could do, since I was tearing up in pain.

"Can you return those for me, I have to go to the infirmary. Now," I said and ran in pain. He caught up with me.

"I'm really sorry," he said. "It was an accident."

"I know," I said through my teeth. I was in real pain right now. I had to stop running, and sit down. Now. I just fell to the ground. Holding my shoulder. I had never felt pain like this in my life.

"Stay here, I'll run to get someone. Be right back," he said and sprinted off for help. I saw people stare at me. But I didn't care. I started crying. My shoulder was throbbing. This was excruciating pain. I saw the nurse running towards me.

"Reed! Okay, let me help you up there. Mr. Hollis can you help Reed, please. Its going to be okay. Oh my lord, its bleeding a lot. Stay here, I need to call an ambulence," she said and left us there.

"What!" I yelled, and cried at the same time. I looked at my shoulder and she was right. It was bleeding terribly. I started to really cry now.

"Reed, I am so sorry. Its all my fault," Josh said, and he held me up. He was right though, it was his fault.

I couldn't worry about that though. Once I looked at my shoulder, my hand had blood spots all over it. And then, my vision was gone.

--

I woke up in a hosptial room, again. Stupid hosptials. I looked at my shoulder, which was covered in bandages. Deja vu all over again. This time was different though. Since the guy who saved me, got me in here. The nurse I had last time walked in. Mary. She was short and a little pudgy, but was very sweet and funny.

"Long time no see. Huh, Ms. Brennan?"she said, eying me down suspiciously.

"Yeah, I just missed you sooo much. What happened?" I asked. I figured I past out, but I just wanted that confirmed.

"Well, you passed out. But don't worry, you can leave in minutes. We just needed to re-stitch your shoulder up and bandage it. You've gotta be more careful though, honey. Another accident, and you won't be able to go on that trip," she said. Great. That was the only thing that got me through the day. "You have to let it heal for 3 full days. That means no movement, at all and a lot of rest."

"I think I can handle that much. So can I leave, like now?" I asked. I wanted to get out of there as quick as possible. I was just relieved that the pain was gone. My shoulder was just sore now. And I wanted to go back to the comfort of my own room.

"Yeah, I guess you can," she said and pursed her lips. "I hope, I won't be seeing you soon though," and she gave me a smile as she helped me out of the bed.

"Me too. Is someone waiting for me outside?" I asked.

"Yes. That young boy who came by a lot before. Honey, I must say he is adorable and very polite. One to keep," she said, and winked at me. Gag. Heave. Gag. That was the last thing I wanted to hear and see. She walked me out where Josh was waiting. His smile was so bright, he looked relieved when he saw me.

"She's all yours now. Just make sure shes careful though. You don't want those stitches to pop again, remember, no trip!" Mary said, as we waved bye.

"Reed, I am so, so, so, so, so, so, sorry," Josh said once we got outside to an Easton car.

"Don't worry about it. I just want to get back to Easton," I said as he opened the car door for me.

"Seriously I'm really sorry," he said. Again.

"Okay, you can stop now," I said and gave him a look. I went to sit in the car.

"Yeah, sorry," I shot him another look and then laughed. Laughed! I couldn't believe I was laughing at a time like this. I don't like him right now. God, why can't I just stay mad at him? He was so cute when he started to laugh along with me, his curls just so perfectly in placed. No! Not cute! I'm mad at him.

"About earlier," he started but I put my right hand up to show him to stop, but he just put it away and gave me a look. "I didn't listen to you about Legacy, and look what happened. You're listening," he said, informing me. "I acted like a jerk. I don't know why. Well, yeah I do. I was going to ask you to come to Paris with me and my family over Christmas. But then you were so excited about St. Barts, going with Noelle and I got pissed," he said. I was looking out the window then turned to look at him.

"Really?" I asked, flattered. I would've totally gone to Paris with him.

"Yeah, I really wanted to spend it with you. But, I was thinking we could spend New Years together, at the townhouse in New York. What do you think?"he asked. I totally wanted to spend New Years with him, I just didn't know how my parents would react, since I wouldn't see them at all over the holidays. They were going to spend time with the rest of our family in Virginia, so maybe they wouldn't mind.

"I would love to! But, I just have to ask my parents," I said.

"Okay, tell me though once you talk to them. This will be awesome," he looked so excited as he said this.

"Yeah, it..." I trailed off though as we entered Easton, and the driveway by Bradwell, where a chair sat under a tree. What we saw, wasn't pretty...

--

_Hey...I know a cliffhanger, but this story needed some excitement. Also, please give some more reviews...Please!! I won't write until I get 10 more reviews!! And thats not just a threat, but a promise! Hope you liked..._

_xoxo Marie_


	5. A Deal with Backstab Please?

**Chapter 5-**

"Oh my god," Josh said. He went from looking so excited to a look of disbelief. Could you blame him though. What we were seeing wasn't pretty, at all.

You had to really have a good eye to see what we saw. There was a chair tucked all the way back by the Bradwell building, which was the female dorm room for freshman and sophmores. I stayed there before I was accepted into Billings.

"Josh, are you okay?" I asked. He yelled at the driver to stop and ran toward them. Ivy and Gage. Practically having sex in public. "Josh wait! I can't run!"

"Just stay there," he yelled back at me. He was racing right towards them. I didn't understand though why he was angry or upset. They broke up. They were done with. Why would he be so mad with her and, Gage? I mean really, Gage Coolidge? The deuschbag of Easton. She really could have done better than that, but I did hear that they once were hot and heavy.

"Josh, stop! Don't make a big deal out of it," I said walking after him, he was already where they were.

"What the hell is wrong with you two? Ivy, how could you do this with him of all people," Josh yelled at them. Ivy was buttoning up her shirt that would've already been off it they were in a private room, showing her black lacy bra. Gage buttoned his shirt up also, and got up to where Josh was.

"Dude, you guys broke up. Whats the deal?" Gage said. He was right though, as much as I hate to admit it.

"Ivy I thought we had a deal?" I heard Josh say. I was almost where they were.

"Seriously? I saw you and Reed this morning, and I saw you leave Billings yesterday. Don't try to tell me that you aren't back together with her," Ivy spat right back at him. I finally got to them, and I didn't understand what they were saying. A deal? Why would they make a deal?

"Josh, whats wrong?" I asked, but he just ignored me. Ivy looked me dead in the eye with sorrow.

"I wasn't the one practically having sex in public! The deal was no public hookups for a couple weeks," he yelled at her. Now I understood why he didn't want our relationship public, he made a deal with Ivy. But why?

"What, now you can break up with me and still tell me what to do? I don't think so," Ivy yelled right back.

"Wait! Josh, you told me she broke up with you?" I said, confused.

"Reed, I already told you he broke up with me. Wonder what else he's hiding? Did you tell her Josh, that your just a big tease, but Reed you probably already know that, don't you?" she asked accusingly. What was she talking about, a big tease? I just looked at Josh and he shooked his head.

"Forget it Reed, shes just pissed. Come on, lets go," he said and grabbed my hand. We were about half a distance away when he turned around and said, "Oh, Gage. Have fun with my sloppy seconds!"

"Oh yeah, have fun with Ms. Death target over there. I heard all bad things come in 3! Hey Reed? How many times has someone tried to kill you, twice? Well look, only one more try and who knows the first time was a dissaster, the second you were shot in the shoulder, now maybe the third time someone will get it right" Gage yelled back, with a look of disgust. If looks could kill, Gage would be dying a slow death. Josh was about ready to kill him any second, but he just turned and sayed "Its one thing to hook up with an ex, but to talk down to a girl, my girlfriend who's been through so much, your disgusting. I hope you know that." Then to me he said,"Screw him Reed. Lets go," and took my hand, coming to my rescue again.

He walked me to Billings, and he told Ms. Naylor that he wanted to take me to my room so he could help me with my shoulder, which was so sweet. I was glad though, since I was going to grill him on everything Ivy was saying.

Noelle was in the room when we got in, and looked so relieved to see me. "Oh my god, Reed! Are you okay? What happened?" she asked, but Josh stepped up to answer the questions.

"She's fine, her stitches just broke. Its all my fault though, can you leave for a couple minutes we need to talk," Josh said to Noelle. He had a different tone in his voice. A tone of authority almost. Noelle was shocked when she heard this and just looked up at him. I never noticed how tall Josh really was before this.

"Noelle, seriously I'm fine. Just give us a few, I'll tell you everything," I said. She got the hint and left. Josh walked me to my bed, where he helped me with my shoulder sling. He even brought over 1 pain pill and a water, he was so sweet.

"Take this, your going to need it," he said.

"Why did you lie about who broke up with who? I don't understand," I said as I took the pill and a sip of water.

"This is what really happened. The night before you got hurt and everything happened with Sabine," as he said her name I felt a chill go up my back, "I caught Ivy cheating on me with Gage. I just saw her kiss him and then before I could kick his ass, he left. I broke up with her on the spot, but we made a promise that we wouldn't get into any relationships for a while. Then I got your present and it made things harder between us, but thats why I said it would be better if we kept quiet about us. But don't worry now," he said. He looked so relieved like he finally got everything he wanted to say off his chest.

"God, and I was starting to think I could be friends with her," I said, and laughed. He didn't laugh with me though, he was obviously really hurt about this. "I'm sorry Josh."

"I don't care anymore, I'm just glad I got you back," he said and gave a big smile.

"Yeah, me too. What did she mean though, with the whole 'tease' thing?" I asked, curious. As long as I knew Josh, he wasn't a tease. He was the one always pushing things, but not overly pushing them. He knew my limits.

"She was pushing me in the end, to 'you know'. I didn't want to, I didn't care for her like that," he said. The way he said it was like 'I didn't care for her as much as I care for you'.

"I can't believe Gage! He's such a jerk, seriously Josh you should drop him as a friend," I said.

"Yeah, I know. I've known him forever though, it would be stupid to end our friendship just because of some girl. I totally over reacted, I mean I broke up with her. We were done, but the things he said to you, I will never forgive him about it" he said shaking is head.

"Yeah, but still. That was shady what she did, it just shows her true colors," I said, and he just smiled at me.

"You know, you are always right?" he said and laughed.

"I've been blessed," I said, and smiled. He gave me a hug and a light kiss.

"I should go, I'll call you later though. If you need anything just call me," he said and gave me one last kiss. "Bye."

"K, bye," I said as he walked out.

"Okay, what the hell happened?" Noelle said, as she came in right when Josh walked out. "I heard from Missy that an ambulence came to take you to the hospital. What happened, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I ran into Josh, and literally, and he hit my left shoulder by accident. My stitches popped, and I passed out from the blood," I said as I layed on my bed.

"Oh, my god. Do you need anything?" she asked coming toward me looking at my shoulder.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks though," I said. She was always overprotective of me.

"Okay," she said and eyed me down suspiciously. "You still can go to St. Barts though, right?"

"Yeah. Oh my god, I forgot! Josh asked me to spend New Years with him at his apartment in New York!" I said.

"Really. Thats great," she said, with as less enthusiasm as Josh had when I told him about me going to St. Barts with her.

"God, not you to," I moaned.

"What?" she asked confused.

"Josh was pissed because I'm going with you to St. Barts. We kind of got into a fight after breakfast," I said.

"But he was fine earlier," she said.

"Yeah, he told me he was going to ask me to go to Paris with him and his parents, and just got pissed. But then asked me to New York, so everythings fine now," I said.

"Good, I've got to call my special guest to go over plans, but will I see you at dinner?" she asked. Special guest? What the hell was she talking about?

"Wait! What special guest? You never told me there's a special guest, who is it?" I asked.

"It's a secret. Don't worry you'll find out soon enough," she said and winked at me and was walking toward the door. "So dinner?"

"Yeah, see you," I said suspiciously and she smiled as she walked out the door. Whatever she had in mind, I knew with Noelle, I was going to find out soon enough...

--

_So what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Don't be afraid to tell the truth. Anyway, the next chapter is going to be about their trip to St. Barts, and don't worry, you'll know who the "special guest(s)" is/are soon enough!_

_xoxo Marie_


	6. Is it too late to turn back now?

**Chapter 6**_-_

The week went by really fast. My shoulder was healing perfectly, at least that's what my physical therapist said, and I was going to be able to go to St. Barts. I still couldn't stop thinking about Noelle's special guest, though. She usually would tell me everything, but she wouldn't budge.

Me and Josh were in the open again with our relationship, and we were slowly back to where we once were, before everything happened.

I tried to keep my distance from Ivy, and she did the same. Needless to say, I never called her back. Josh and Gage hadn't said anything to each other, from what I saw at least. And Gage didn't say anything to me, either. If he would've, I think Josh was going to kill him.

It was the night before we left for St. Barts, and Josh was walking me back to Billings from dinner.

"Do you want to go to the art cemetery? I could teach you how to paint," he offered. As much as I wanted to say yes, I couldn't.

"I want to, but I can't. I have to pack for St. Barts, so Constance and Astrid were going to help, since this is going to be our last night together," I said and looked down at the ground. I wasn't going to tell him that this whole idea was Noelle's, and that she was joining us. There are some things better off unkown.

"That's fine. We're going to have to get together though tommorow morning. I'm going to miss you so much," he said and gave me a big, bright smile.

"I know, me too. But just think, we're going to spend New Years together!" I said, with excitment. I really was excited for New Years with Josh. It was going to be pefect.

"I know. I'm going to be thinking about that during the whole trip in Paris," he said and laughed. We finally reached Billings, and he gave me a light kiss and a hug. "I'll call you later," he said and waved as he left.

I walked into Billings and Missy and Lorna were sitting in the parlor, watching T.V. I waved at them as I came in, and walked up to my room.

Astrid and Constance were already sitting on my bed, talking to Noelle. "Hey guys," I said as I walked in.

"Hey," they both said in unison. "So Reed, you ready to get this little party started?" Astrid asked in her thick british accent. Constance smiled and Noelle did the same. I was ready to have fun for a change.

--

The night was awesome. It was nice to spend time with Constance and Astrid. And Noelle actually was warming up to them, which was my plan.

I was disrubted to Noelle though, waking me up at 5:00 A.M. in the morning, with the rest of the Billings girls.

"Get up, and come with us. We have a fun idea for Amberley," she said.

"Noelle, no. I'm not dealing with that. Let me sleep," I said.

"Get up! You're going to get plenty of sleep in St. Barts," Noelle said and yanked my comforter off of me.

"God, you can't take no for an answer can you?" I said, and got up to grab my sweater. "I'm not doing this anymore," they just looked at me as I walked right passed them.

I went for a walk around the campus, which was quiet since all the normal people were sleeping. I checked my phone, and I saw that I had a text from Josh, which he just sent:

**Hey. Watr u doin up?**

He asked. I texted him back:

**Noelle & the rest of billings wer doin somthn 2 amberley. i decided not 2..y r u up?**

I said. He texted me back:

**painting..meet me behind ketlar, ill be out in a sec.**

He said. I just texted him back: **k**. And walked towards Ketlar.

I saw him leaning agaisnt the wall as I got back there. "Hey," he said as I walked up, and leaned up next to him.

"Hey," I said and smiled, he smiled back. "So, how did you know I was up?"

"I glanced out the window, and saw you with your shoulder sling," he said, reffering to my shoulder. "Plus, your the only girl around here with enough guts to walk around by yourself at night, after everything thats happened." A chill ran down my spind just thinking about everything that has happened.

"Yeah," I said, trying to laugh it off. It wasn't working.

"I'm sorry to bring that up. I'm such an idiot," he said. He was so cute when he was sorry.

"No your not," I said and bumped into him on his side playfully. "You can though, be oblivious at some times, but thats just because your a guy," I said laughing. He bumped into my playfully.

"God, I'm going to miss you so much. We finally are back together and now we have to leave, go figure," he said.

"Yeah, but just for 2 1/2 weeks!" I said cheerfully.

"Do you know, that your great at brightening the mood?" he said and put his hands around my waist.

"Yeah, again I've been blessed," I said and he started to laugh. Then he kissed me ever so lightly and deapened it. We were like that for a while, then I looked at my clock on the phone and noticed it was 6:30. "I've gotta go, but I'll see you at breakfast," I said and gave him one last kissed.

"I wished we could just stay like this," he said and wrapped his arms around me and gave me another kiss.

"I know, but I have to go, I'll see you soon," I said and slipped away and waved bye, he waved back and smiled. I felt his eyes on me as I walked to Billings. When I finally got there I turned around and he was still standing there, smiling. I smiled back and waved, and so did he. I then, watched him go.

Once I got to my floor all of the girls were lined up, obviously hazing for Amberely. "Reed, finally your here. Amberely, you can now ask Reed what she needs you to do, then your done for the day," Noelle said.

I walked up to where the girls were and before I could protest Amberely came up to me, "Reed what can I do for you?" she asked.

As much as I hated the girl, I felt for her. "Actually Amberley could you get ready for class," I said and smiled at her. She just nodded her head and went on her way. I walked away to my room and Noelle followed.

"What the hell was that about?" she asked. I didn't answer though because I was already in the bathroom and shut the door in her face. I took a shower, and when I got out she was gone. I got dressed and went to leave for the dining hall.

Breakfast went by quick, with goodbyes to everyone and Josh not leaving my side once. Noelle wasn't talking to me much, and I had a feeling that this trip wasn't going to be all that fun.

The car that was going to pick us to their airport, was coming in exactly 30 minutes. Constance and Astrid helped me with my luggage and brought it outside. Noelle was still getting hers together, when I said my goodbyes to all of the girls. We all promised to call and email whenever we could.

I walked to meet Josh in the quad. He wanted to say one last and final goodbye before I left. He was sitting by a tree when I walked up and smiled. "Hey," I said and gave him a hug.

"Hey," he said and gave me one back. "So how long do we have?" he asked.

"About 10 minutes," I said.

"Great, so are you excited?" he asked.

"Yeah I guess. Noelle said though that she was bringing a special guest, I'm so freaked to see who it is,"

"With Noelle, that doesn't surprise me. She has to have some plan," he said and rolled his eyes. Okay, this is not how I wanted this conversation to go.

"Hey, no Billings!" I said, and poked him in the chest.

"Sorry your right. So what time does your flight leave?" he asked.

"At one. When does yours leave?" I asked. Josh was leaving for Paris with his family just a little after I left.

"At six. My parents are coming to pick me up at noon. Is that your car over there," he asked, and I turned to look.

"Yep," I said. Noelle was putting all of the luggage in the trunk with help from the driver and waved to me to come over. I waved back, hold on.

"You better go," he said and slipped his arms around my waist.

"Yeah," I said and gave him one last kissed.

"Call me once you get there though, and have a safe trip" he said and let me go.

"I will, bye," I said as I waved off and walked toward the car.

"Bye," he said and waved. He started towards Ketlar, and I felt a cringe in my stomach. I was missing him already.

I walked up to Noelle, "Okay, you ready to get going?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said. I felt like I was going to cry a little. All of this week me and Josh hadn't left each others sides. I had no idea how I was going to survive without him.

"Good. Hey, aren't you going to say hi to Reed," she said to someone in the car.

My heart immediatly stopped. I looked for Josh and I saw him walk into Ketlar, already gone. I was wandering if it was to late to back out now.

"Hi, Reed," he said.

Noelle eyed me down like she knew what I was thinking. Before I could say hi she said, "Don't worry Reed. He's not the special guest," and winked at me.

I had a feeling that this was going to be. A. Very. Long. Trip...

--

_Hi! Love the reviews, keep them coming. Sorry to leave you hanging there. But if your a true Private fan, you should have an idea who "he" is. And he's not the only "special guest", but don't worry you'll find out who the other one is soon enough..._

_xoxo Marie_


	7. Beautiful Dirty Rich

**Chapter 7-**

"Hi, Dash," I said without looking at him. He didn't look at me either. I couldn't believe Noelle would bring him without telling me. I was so furious. I yanked Noelle's arm, and brought her away from Dash, so he wouldn't hear what I was about to say.

"What is your problem," she asked, shocked.

"What is my problem? Why did you bring him," I yelled/whispered.

"He's my boyfriend, thats why," she spat and yanked her arm out of my hand.

"Noelle, if you wanted a romantic christmas, I wouldn't have come," I said. If I would've known he was coming, I wouldn't be here. I would be going with Josh and his family to Paris. Having my own romantic christmas.

"I know, thats why I didn't tell you," she said coolly. Even though she was my best friend, I didn't understand her logic at times. "Come on, we don't want to be late," she said. She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the car. Where I pouted like a baby.

"Is she okay," I heard Dash ask her, after a few minutes of me looking straight out the window, and probably looking like I was going to cry.

"She's just fine," she said to him, and smiled at me. "Aren't you?", she then asked.

"Just, dandy," I said through my teeth. And glared at her. --

--

The rest of the ride to the airport was quiet. And the plane ride to St. Barts was even worst. Noelle barely talked to me, and Dash didn't look at me once. I really didn't want him to. They were making out on and off, the whole trip. It made me sick.

I still couldn't get over that I was going to have to spend, 2 1/2 weeks with him! And for the topper, Noelle said there's another guest! What was she trying to do, ruin my holidays? I know almost hooking up with Dash was bad, but I was drugged. And, I was just shot! I think that qualifies for some kind of respect.

The last time I spoke to him, was at the fund raiser. When the video of us was sent to the whole student body. He wanted to take me back to Easton, but I said I couldn't. I told him that I couldn't be seen with him, or talk to him anymore.

I always wondered how he felt for me. At the Alumni party, he practically said that he had feelings for me. I wondered if that changed now. I just wanted him to stay out of my way, and not get me into anymore trouble. I already screwed up my relationship with Josh and Noelle once, I wasn't about to do it again.

We finally landed, and once we were allowed to use our cells, I called Josh. Noelle and Dash were getting the luggage, so I was in private.

"I can't believe she invited him. What am I going to do?" I asked/whisperd to Josh.

"I know she's your best friend, but she's such a bitch at times," he said. I could hear annoyance in his voice. As much as I wanted to tell him he was wrong, I was starting to think he was right. "Do you want me to send a plane to get you? My parents will, and you can spend the whole holidays with me," he asked. He was so nice, and was always thinking of my best interest, but this was too much.

"No, I think I can live for a few weeks. But, thanks for the offer," I said.

"Well, if things really suck, you can leave early. I'll come home early, and we can spend more time together," he offered. That was actually a great idea.

"Maybe. But who knows, Noelle's other special guest might bring joy to my life," I laughed. "I doubt it though."

"Crap, I've gotta go. Their boarding. I'll call you once I get in. Good luck," he said.

"Okay. Have a safe flight. Bye," I said and we hung up.

I still couldn't believe the situation I was in. But I felt a little better after talking to Josh. He had that affect on me.

--

Noelle's vacation home was magnificant! It was 3x bigger than my regular home. It was beautiful, and was right on the beach. Try to picture a regular beach house, then add the features of a mansion, and you've got it.

"Noelle, this place is awesome," I said, again.

"Okay glass-licker, give it up already. I've got the picture," she said and laughed. Dash just clenched his jaw as he was helping out with the lugage. "So, my parents won't be in till tommorow, so we've got the place to ourselves," she said, but not to me, to Dash. I had a feeling what the meant.

If she wanted to spend all this time with Dash, why did she ask me to come? To spend time with Amberely, who was getting in Sunday? I think not.

I followed her in, and she was going to show me my room. "So, I hope you like it. It's that door right, there," she said and motioned toward the door. I opened it up, and couldn't believe what I saw. I practically screeched when I recognized who it was.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is, Miss. Reed Brennan. Long time no see, hmmm?" she said.

Noelle then peaked through the doorway, "Sorry Reed, you have to share," she said and then left.

This trip just got intresting.

"Oh. My. God! Kiran!" I yelled and ran for her. I couldn't believe it was Kiran. The other Billings girl, who was a best friend to me. The gorgeous Kiran. The model Kiran. The Kiran who was supposed to be in Italy doing photo shoots for famous designers. There she stood, as beautiful as ever.

"Reed!" she said and we gave each other hugs. "Look at you! You got your hair cut, and nice outfit! Who would know that you were from that shit hole Croton," she said and I laughed. That was Kiren, always making insults, funny.

"I missed you so much. Billings was not the same without you," I said as we sat on the bed.

"Doesn't shock me. And I guess I'm going to have to forgive you, for blowing off my party," she said. "I think being shot is an honest reason why you couldn't come."

"Ha-ha. Yeah," I said. I shook off the fact that I was actually shot.

"So, tell me everything thats been going on. Noelle filled me in, but she tends to overextend the truth. So divulge about everything," she said and that I did.

I told her everything from Cheyenne, to Josh and Dash, and Noelle. The new Headmaster, and Ivy. And even, Sabine. Chill.

"Well, look at the bright side, everything is back to normal. And if anyone tries to screw with you, I'll get my personal body gaurd to come after them," she said, and I laughed.

"So Noelle told me that you were modeling, in like Italy," I said.

"Yeah. I finally got my life cleaned up. After eveything that happened with pshyco Arianna, I took a good look at my life and decided for a change. And look at me now, I'm living in Italy and doing something I love," she said. She really did look truly happy. And I was gald for her.

"You really do look great," I said. "I'm happy that everythings working out for you."

"Thanks. Now we need to find a way to keep you away from Dash and make your holidays great," she said.

"Well, even though Noelle brought him, she totally re-paid me by bringing you," I said to her.

"Good, so her plan did work. Now, lets get everything situated and I'll show you around," she said and I followed her out the door to get my bags. "You're so going to love it here. And that shoulder of yours should heal perfectly with all of the relaxation you'll be getting."

"Great. This Christmas is so going to be awesome," I told her. I guess I would have to break the great news to Josh when he called later. I hope he won't be dissapointed...

--

_I've seen the reviews that you guys want Josh to stay in it, but don't worry he'll be back soon! Here's a hint to the future: a miss someone needs to watch out who her enemies are, but it might be a little to late. This christmas, will be filled with tons of RED!! _

_Anyway, hoped you liked it, and please review!! _

_xoxo Marie!!_


	8. Suddenly appetite and head lost

**Chapter 8-**

St. Barts was truly beautiful. I loved everything about it. The beaches, the water (even though I could only go up to my waste) and the shopping. Which we did everyday for the past 4 days! Those girls are addicted to shopping. Amberley came with us yesterday, since she just got in. Even though I didn't like the girl at first, she was growing on me.

Noelle's parents hadn't arrived yet, and Christmas was 4 days away. Whenever I asked Noelle where they were, she dodged the question. I could feel a little tension there.

Dash didn't say a word to me, he didn't even look at me, which was fine by me. If we could get by another week like this, I was good to go.

I had to tell Josh that I wasn't going to leave early, and that Kiran was here. He was happy that I was happy, but I could hear a little sadness in his voice.

It was in the middle of the night, and I was walking back to my room from the bathroom. All of a sudden though, I felt hands go around my waist and I was yanked into the hall linen closet. I had no idea what was going on, and I was about to scream but then he turned on the light and I knew who it was.

Dash.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, shocked and somewhat scared.

"I need to talk to you," he said. The look on his face looked like innocence, so I decided not to make a run for it.

"What? Noelle could find us," I said. I was not in the mood for Noelle to find us like this. Everything was fine between us again. I wasn't even mad that she brought Dash anymore, since Karen was here.

"I don't care. The past couple days I felt like I couldn't talk to you, or even look at you. But Reed, you have to know I have real feelings for you," he said and took my hands in his. He was looking me straight in the eye and I was getting lost in his beautiful brown hazel eyes, he was so hot. But then I realized, what if Josh saw this. Josh. Then I yanked my hands out of his and started to shake my head.

"No. No. I have Josh now. I finally got him back. You have no idea what happened to me, with everything. I lost everything, and I can't go through that again," I said. He looked so hurt, but I didn't care. He had to know the truth.

I looked down to the ground and he cupped my chin in his hands. "Listen Reed. I know somewhere inside of you, you do have the same feelings," I just looked at him.

Then it happened. Dash McCaferty, kissed me. A true, genuine kiss. Soft, but deep. He tasted like mint tic tacs. I felt a shock wave go through my whole body. He knew how to kiss. It wasn't like the night at legacy, this was special. He put his hands around my face so gently, like I was precious. He pulled away slowly, and his eyes were still closed.

When he opened up he said, "You felt that, I know you did. Don't try to lie." I did feel it, but I wasn't going to let some stupid feeling ruin everything again.

I just looked up at him, and smiled a little. "Dash, you have Noelle. You should go to her," I said and opened the door up and walked to my room.

I left him standing there confused, like he left me after Legacy. Confused. Stupid for thinking something would happen, but didn't.

I hope he felt the same way I felt, when minutes after everything with us happened, when Noelle announced that she got back together with him. That hurt feeling inside.

Things had changed. I had Josh again. And I wasn't going to let the Dash McCaferty charm, ruin that ever again.

--

The whole night though I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't wait to call Josh when I knew he was going to be up because of the time difference. When it was time for me to finally call him, I was so excited. I couldn't wait to tell him what I was about to tell him, what I've been wanting to tell him ever since that night happened.

"Hey," he answered.

"Hey," I said back. "How's Paris going?" I asked, and he ranted about how he wished I was there. That he loved all of the art and paintings he saw. And he asked how my trip was, and I told him it was good. It was time to hang up, and I knew I was ready for what I was about to say.

"Hey, Josh?" I asked.

"Yeah,"

"I love you," I said finally. There was a long pause, that felt like the world just stopped. What if it was to early to say it? What if he didn't love me anymore? What if after everything that happened, he wasn't ready to get in so deep again?

"Reed," he said, and I was preparing for the worst. For the, 'It's to early to say that again, especially after everything thats happened.' "I love you to," he said finally. And everything went back into motion again. "I love you to."

--

I was on a high. I felt like I was floating through out the whole day. Josh still loved me. It was that simple. Dash helped me realize that after everything that has happened, there was only one guy I loved. And that was Josh Hollis.

Amberley wanted to go to lunch with me, and me only. At first I didn't want to, but Noelle thought it would be a good idea if I went with her.

We drove into town, and went to eat at this little american bistro they had there. Practically the only restaurant with american food.

The hostess showed us our table, and gave us our menu. "I'm starved," I said after a moment of silence.

"Yeah me too," she said, as she put her menu down. "So how are you doing with everything?"

"I'm okay. Being here has made me feel a lot better," I said and smiled.

"That's good. It's so nice here, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it really is. And Noelle has been so nice lately. Getting my physical therapist, making sure everything is going along okay. She's been such a great friend," I said. She shifted in her sit a little, but gave me a nice smile.

"Yeah. Noelle is just great," she said the last part through her teeth. "I can't believe that she would bring Dash, and not even tell you,"

"Yeah, but she did bring Karen. I don't even pay attention to Dash," I said, as I took a sip out of my pepsi.

She figdeted with her straw that was in her glass and said, "Yeah, but still. After everything you guys have been through. Starting with the whole Thomas thing, and then Sabine, you would think she would give you some kind of warning,"

"Yeah, I guess," I said and started to play with my napkin. Amberley was right. It's like Noelle doesn't have any respect for me.

"And wouldn't you think, since Noelle was so close to Arianna, that she would've known that she had a sister," she said.

My jaw dropped quickly, and my eyes widened. She was right. I never even asked Noelle if she knew that Arianna had a sister. Was this their whole plan? To go behind my back, and set up the whole thing with Billings? Noelle though was pretty pissed when she found out about me and Dash. But she did always have a gift of acting and lying in the past.

No. She would've told me. She would've said something. Right?

She wouldn't have though if she was in on their plan. She might have broughten me here for a reason. What if she's planning on...hurting me. Or even worse..."killing me," I said out loud, by mistake.

"What was that Reed," Amberley asked.

I was about to say something, but I was inturupted by our waitress. "So, what would you guys like today?"

"I would like a ceaser salad, no anchovies. Reed?" Amberley said and gave me a smile.

"I've suddenly lost my appetite," I said.

I feel like I've suddenly lost my head.

--

_So what to do you think? Love the reviews, keep them coming! Also, just read Last Christmas, you have to read it! It's awesome, and will explain everything with Arianna. I totally understand everything now. Anyway, hope you liked!_

_xoxo Marie_


	9. Talkn' bout' some feelings

**Chapter 9-**

I couldn't get the idea out of my head. Noelle. Sabine. Arianna. Plan. It couldn't be. Noelle would never do that to me. Yes, she has been a bitch in the past, but she would never try to hurt me. Would she?

Once Ambereley's driver dropped me off at Noelle's home, I knew what I had to ask her. I had to ask her if she knew that Arianna had a sister.

Once I opened the door and walked down the hall I started looking for her. Instead, I found Dash.

"Reed, we need to talk," he said, coming towards me.

"Not now. Where's Noelle?" I asked. He would know where she is. They hadn't left each other's sides the whole trip.

"She said she had to go out of town, and do something. Why? What's wrong," he asked.

Shit. What if she was planning something right now? I had to ask Dash. He would know. "Dash? Did Noelle know that Arianna had a sister? Did she know about Sabine?"

He looked at me confused, then he finally registered what I asked him and his eyes widened, "I don't know. They were really close and they were roomates. I think she would've said something though," he said.

"Yeah, your probably right," I said. Even when I heard the words that came out of my mouth, I didn't believe them. And by the look of concern on Dash' face, he didn't believe them either.

"She said she'll be back in a few hours. She just left, and so did Kiran. Are you okay? You look a little paraniod," he said, concern filled his voice.

"Wait, Kiran left also?" I asked.

Was she in on it to? Is that why Noelle brought Kiran? Were they planning to do something? To hurt me? Oh my god, they were all in on it. It totally makes sense. Billings girls always protected Billings girls. All the other Billings girls said I wasn't a true Billings girl, and I would never be. Arianna voted me in, only to hurt me. They were all in on it...

I felt sick. My world was crummeling again. I needed to sit down, now.

"Yeah. Are you okay?" I heard Dash ask. "Here, you should sit down," and he took my hand and brought me to a couch.

"Thanks," I said. Even what I said to him last night, he treated me like a gentleman.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

I noddded my head. I just had to breath.

In...two...three.  
Out...two...three...

"So, about last night. I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm sorry," he said.

I didn't expect that coming. "It's okay," I said and smiled at him. I felt sorry for him. His girlfriend, could be a total psycho and he had to deal with her.

"I just want you to know that I do have true feelings for you. I don't want your life to fall apart again, so I understand that you only want to be friends," he said and brushed his hand against my leg.

"Yeah," I said. More like, yeah right. Like thats going to happen. "I would like that,"

He grinned, "Good, because I can't take the silent treatment much longer," he said, and we both let out a laugh.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I was pretty immature," I said and looked away.

"It's cool. I've been through worst," he said and winked at me.

This felt like the night at the Alumni party, when he wanted to talk to me. I told him that we were just friends, but he came so close to me, it felt like he was going to kiss me. But he just let out a laugh and said, 'yeah, friends' and walked away. That was when him and Noelle weren't together.

"Can I ask you something?" I said. This question has been bugging me ever since that night at Legacy.

"Sure, go ahead,"

"The night at legacy, when we...you know. Right after, Noelle said that you and her were back together. Was that before or after, we..um..." I said, and trailed off. I couldn't say hooked up, that was just stupid. So I let him fill in the blanks.

"After. Noelle just came up to me and said I want to get back together. Personally, I think it was the drugs talking when I said yes," he said and smiled. "They though, had no effect on me wanting you. Drugs or nor drugs, it didn't matter," he said and put his arm on my leg again.

Oh. My. God. He was flirting with me. Again! When we're supposed to be just friends. Friends don't flirt. Well, all of the friends I have don't.

"Dash.." I moaned, but he interupted me.

"I know, friends. But if something happens with you and Hollis, and something just happens with me and Noelle, promiss to tell me," he said and winked.

"Sure," I said and just looked at him. "I've gotta go, my shoulder,"

"Yeah. Sure," he said and helped me. "I'll see you later," he said as I walked off.

"Yeah, later," I said and smiled at him.

--

Not only did I have to deal with Noelle, and thinking that she was in on Arianna and Sabine. But now, I had to deal with Dash, and his feelings for me. Yes, he said that I wanted to be just friends, but he didn't say that HE just wanted to be friends.

I was laying on my bed when Kiran walked, with her bathing suit cover up on. "Hey," she said as she slipped off her sunglasses, and through them and her Juicy beach bag on her bed. "What's up,"

"Nothing," I said. I had been debating if I should confront them about Sabine, or not. I've been trying to call Josh, but he wasn't picking up his phone. I really could use his advice right now.

"So, how was lunch with Amberley?" she asked.

"It was lunch with Amberley," I said flatly. I grabbed my Vogue magazine and flipped through the pages, for the sixth time today.

"That bad, huh?" she said as she took off her swim coverup. Karen was for sure built. She had abbs, but not man abbs, woman abbs. She looked great in a bathing suit. It's not like I look at her like that, it's just a girl thing.

"It was definatley, informing," I said and smirked, still looking at the magazine.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked. I could feel her glaring at me.

"Oh nothing," I said and let out a laugh. I looked to her, "Nothing at all," I said and smiled.

She just looked at me, "Okay, I'm showering,"

"Hey, do you know where Noelle is?" I asked.

"Nope," she snickered and walked into the bathroom and shut the door, more like slammed it.

That was cold. What was that about? Maybe she was in on it. Or maybe her and Noelle just got into a fight. Whatever this whole thing was about, I was sure to know soon.

--

"Josh, I need you to listen to what I'm about to say," I whispered. I went into the bathroom and locked the door, so I knew no one was listening.

"What's wrong," he asked. He sounded worried, I hated when he was worried. When he was worried, I got worried. And that's never good.

"Okay, you know Noelle and Arianna were close. They were roomates, and roomates are close, right?" I asked.

"Yeah," the sound in his voice said, where is this going...

"Okay. So you have you're roomate, and you guys are really close. Wouldn't you know everything about them?" I asked.

"I guess. Where is this going Reed?" he asked, annoyed.

"God, Josh do I have to spell it out for you. You would know everything about them," I said again.

"Yeah, so what are you talking about," he asked again.

"Noelle had to have known that Arianna had a sister," I said quickly. I practically yelled it.

"You don't think," he said. I heard a pause in his voice, then a gasp. "Reed, you've gotta get out of there,"

"But Josh, what if I'm wrong. What if I'm just paranoid?" I asked. Even Dash said I looked paranoid.

"Yeah, but what if your right? I don't want anything to happen to you ever again," he said. It was nice how much he cared for me. He was always so concerned.

"I know, but Josh, what could Noelle do? They're people here, nothing can actually happen," I said. But I knew I was wrong. Look at what happened at Kirans pre-birthday party. Sabine shot me and they're were tons of people around.

"Reed, don't be so naive. Think for a change," he said.

"Okay, I'm going to let that insult just blow by," I said. I was a little shocked when I heard that.

"Sorry, didn't mean it like that. But, I just don't want you to be.." and he stumbled off.

"Killed," I said for him.

"Yeah," he said quitely.

"Listen, don't worry. I'm not going to say anything to Noelle. Two days after Christmas, I'll go to New York," I said.

"Thank you. Call me later. I love you and be careful," he said.

"Yeah. Love you to, bye," I said and hung up.

He knew. He understood. I knew I couldn't confront Noelle. It wasn't the time or place. I just had to forget about what Amberley said and try to act perfectly normal. If I could. I of course, wasn't as good as acting or lying as Noelle was.

I unlocked the bathroom door and opened it. Noelle was standing right there. She heard everything. She was just glaring at me.

"Oh. My. God," I said. I looked over her shoulder, and Kiran was standing there also. She heard. And she looked even more pissed than Noelle.

"Tell us how you really feel, glass-licker," Noelle spat. Her voice, cold and full of anger.

I. Was. Done.

--

_I had to close that off! I hope you guys liked it! I decided to go for a turn in the story. Anyway, please review!_

_xoxo Marie_


	10. Flashing so bright

**Chapter 10**-

"Noelle. Kiran," I said slowly. I didn't want them angry. But from the looks of it, I already accomplished that.

Kiran was standing by the desk, near the door of the bedroom, looking betrayed and shocked. Noelle was standing by Kiran's bed, just looking angry, but not betrayed. I was standing by the bathroom door, and slowly started toward the main bedroom door.

"How could you think that," Kiran snapped at me. Her voice and eyes cold, just taunting me.

"I've been through a lot, Kiran," I said to her. "Noelle, you thought I killed Cheyenne," I said to Noelle. She accused me of killing Cheyenne, so what was different?

"Because you reaped all of the awards," she spat, just looking me up and down. "We all knew you couldn't get to that position without her gone."

"Are you serious? I was the leader. Everyone looked up to me. They all voted me to be president, without any of my knowledge," I said, and glared at her.

"So, what would I get, if you were killed? President again? You already asked me before you officially said yes, and I declined," she said and smirked.

That was true. I wasn't 100 percent positive that Noelle knew about Sabine. I was just asking Josh what he thought. I wasn't planning on her and Kiran, eavesdropping.

"Listen Noelle, I just didn't know. Everyone knew you were close to Arianna. So is it true, did you or did you not know that Arianna had a sister?" I asked. My voice was cold and so were my eyes. I felt I had the power in this argument. I wasn't going to let her take over like she usually tried.

"I did," she said flatly and smirked.

"What!" Kiran screeched. She looked stunned, and so was I. We both had no idea. Noelle knew! Noelle, freaking knew!

"Oh Kiran get over it. Of course I knew Arianna had a sister, she was like a sister to me. I was trying to tell Sabine to get over it though. That her sister went psycho bitch on us, and that it wasn't Reed's fault. You guys, like I told you before, I know everything," Noelle said, looking at both of us.

"How could you? You knew Reed was in danger, but you didn't do anything. How could you?" Kiran asked, baffled. I had a sign of relief knowing that she didn't know about Sabine.

"No, I didn't. Sabine promissed me that she wouldn't hurt Reed. She said that if I told Reed about me knowing her, then she would hurt Reed. So that's why I didn't tell you guys. She just wanted to toy around with you a little. She always did like games," she said and smiled.

"Your sick," I said to her. disgusted. "Your as sick as them."

"That's where your wrong Reed. I was trying to protect you. That's all I wanted to do, was protect you," she said inching toward me, and started slowly toward the door. "Sabine promissed me, she promissed me Reed, that she wouldn't hurt you. She just wanted to play games with you. Leave little remnants of Cheyenne, so she could see you freak. That's all she wanted to do. I had no idea that she was the one who killed Cheyenne. I would never want you hurt, I've never lied to you," she said. She was looking me in the eye as she said all of this. And, deep inside of me I wanted to believe her. I really did.

"I want out. I'm leaving tommorow," I said and started to walk towards the door. Noelle came right behind me and grabbed hold of my arm tightly.

"Reed, stay here. I don't want you to leave," she said through her teeth. I have never seen her like this. She didn't look angry, or powerful, she looked...scared. Like a little girl. Tears came to her eyes, and she looked like she was going to break down. "Please, stay here." She looked so small. So fragile in this state she was in. "I didn't want this to happen, please."

I yanked my arm out of her hand and she looked like she was going to break, "I need some time to think," I said and walked over to get my Chloe bag, off of my bed. "I'll be back later." I said, and walked past Kiran through the door.

And with that, I was gone.

--

Noelle knew. Noelle knew. Noelle knew. Noelle knew. Noelle knew. Noelle knew.

I couldn't get it out of my head. She knew. Of course she knew! She knows everything! She's Noelle Lange.

I was going to have a panick attack right here on the beach. After learning the frighteneing news, I came to the beach to take a walk. I needed air to think. I needed to think of my next move. It was already night, and past 8:00, so it wasn't like I could do anything at this moment.

God, Noelle knew. I couldn't get it out. I had to sit down, which I did. I just dropped.

"Noelle knew. Noelle knew. Noelle knew. Noelle knew," I cried to myself. "How could she? How could she do this to me?"

"How could she do what," a male voice asked. I practically jumped, until I saw the figure. It was only Dash. I blew out a long breath. "Are you okay Reed?" he asked as he came closer.

"What are you doing?" I asked, a little shocked.

"I saw you practically run out. I was calling your name, but you didn't answer. I was worried," he said as came to sit down next to me. "Are you okay?"

"Dash, she knew. She knew Sabine. She knew about Sabine. She knows everything," I cried and literally cried. He just wrapped his arm around me, and I sank my head into his shoulder. I felt safe finally.

"It's okay Reed. Just breath," he said into my ear. "I'm here."

I looked up at him, and he wiped away my tears. I just started to cry all over again. "It's okay. I'm here. Your going to be okay," I heard him say as he held me.

I wanted it to be Josh holding me. I wanted it to be Josh telling me everything was going to be okay. When I looked back at Dash, I saw Josh. "It's okay Reed. I'm here now, your going to be okay," he said, still holding me. I pictured his perfectly in placed curls. His brown eyes, looking deep into mine.

Then, I kissed him. For a moment I thought I was truly kissing Josh. I wanted it to be Josh. At first he was surprised, but once I realized it was Dash, I pulled away. I just kissed Dash. I just kissed Dash.

He kissed me back all of the sudden, and I backed off. "Oh my god. I'm sorry. I have to go," I cried touching my fingers to my lips, and ran off into the dark.

"Wait Reed!" I heard him call after me, "It's okay, come back!"

I didn't stop. My shoulder was practically healed now, so I was able to run. I didn't know where I was going, but I thought as long as I was away from there, I was going to be okay.

I stopped when I couldn't run much longer. I turned to see if Dash was still coming after me, but he wasn't.

What did I just do? I kissed Dash. He did kiss me back, but I kissed him. I'm horrible. I'm terrible. Josh doesn't deserve me, I don't deserve him. He's better than me. I'm just a cheating slurs bag, and a worthless person.

Through my rage, my phone rang. It scared me half to death, then I saw who was calling: Amberley. I answered it.

"Amberley," I cried.

"Reed? Are you okay? I just talked to Noelle, she told me everything. Where are you? She's so worried," Amberley said.

"She knows. Amberley she knows. You were right. You were so right," I said again.

"It's okay Reed. You need to go back. Straighten it all out," she insisted.

"I know, I know. I just don't think I can," I cried.

"Reed, go back. Okay? Once you go back, everything will work out. I know it will," she said. She sounded so sure. Like she knew everything was going to be okay.

"You're right. I'm going now. I'm turning around now," I said and started towards Noelle's.

"Okay, that's good. Call me after you guys talk. I've got to go, there's a call on the other line," she said, and with that the line was dead.

--

I was close to Noelle's. I saw the spot where I just kissed Dash. Oh. My. God. Where I just kissed Dash. I couldn't get it out of my head. I kissed Dash. How could I tell Josh? I couldn't. I couldn't tell Josh. I was in a moment of weakness. I needed to be comfort, in some way. I wanted it to be Josh. I didn't mean it, I wanted Josh. I needed Josh. Now.

I was almost at Noelle's when I heard sirens and lights. Red and white flashing. My heart stopped. It was definatley coming from Noelle's.

I started sprinting closer, and the sirens started growing louder and louder. The lights just got brighter and brighter.

Red and White. Red and White. Red and White. So deap. The lights wouldn't stop. They just kept flashing.

Once I entered the pool deck, I could hear a girl crying loudly. Kiran.

I ran as fast as I could inside to her. There were paramedics all over. Kiran was crying frantically, her face changing colors from the lights.

Red and White. Red and White. Red and White. Still flashing in our faces. So bright.

She saw me and broke down, "What's wrong?" I whimpered, scared to find the truth. The paramedics didn't even bother to notice me.

"Reed. It's Noelle," she cried. "She's been shot."

And just like that, my whole world stopped.

--

_So what do you think? I thought that this was my fan fic, why not go for it all? It was really hard to write, with the whole Dash scene and Noelle. I didn't want to do it, but this is how the story is going to go. It will all make sense soon_**. **_Thanks for all of the insightful reviews. You readers are great! Also thanks to Ahmanda Hold, I would still be writing- Karen for Kiran! So thanks! Pleas review, I can't wait to see what you think... _

_xoxo Marie_


	11. Lying, cheating, bitch

_Hey everyone! I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while.  
I've been busy and I had a writers block.  
It's not good to write when I have a writers block. My work turns out terribly.  
So, I hope this isn't to bad..._

_Chapter 11_-

I sat uncomfortably in an itchy, vinyl cloth chair, waiting patiently in a St. Barts' hospital waiting room. I wouldn't call it a hospital though, it was more the size of a large Medical Building. Since St. Barts was just an island, they didn't need a hospital the size of John Hopkins.

I glanced over to Kiran who was sitting across from me, envying her for being able to sleep. I've in been here, this exact seat for six hours now and haven't gotten a second of sleep. She looked so peacful sleeping there. Her eyes were puffy though, and her face streaked of tears.

I heard a moan and it came from Amberley. She was playing some game on her iPod touch and looked frusturated at something. She was sitting a few chairs away from Kiran. Her story was, after she talked to me on the phone, it was Noelle who called her. She said that Noelle needed her to come over to the house, and when Amberley got there, their were paramedics and police officers blocking the way. She knew the amount I knew, nothing.

Noelle's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Lange were sitting a few chair away from me. At this moment, I was liking Mrs. Lange, even though she felt somewhat distant. But I understood why. Mrs. Lange was an older image of Noelle. Tall, dark hair-which was cut in an adorable bob-and beautiful. Noelle didn't look like Mr. Lange at all, only in the eyes. He was taller, slim for being a man and dark haired. He looked like your average business man.

I felt eyes on me and glanced across the room, to see Dash staring at me. It made me very uncomfortable and I shifted in my chair. He had been looking at me ever since we sat down. I swear, he once didn't blink for five minutes.

I don't know what his problem was. I made a mistake by kissing him, and he should've known that. Especially by the way I ran off into the darkness of the sandy beach. He was starting to give me an eerie feeling every time I glanced at him.

After a few minutes I needed to get out and breathe. "Does anyone want something to eat or drink?" I asked softly, so I wouldn't wake anyone up.

Amberley shook her head, still playing with her iPod Touch. Mr. Lange shook his to and smiled slightly, Mrs. Lange looked up to me, "No thank you honey," she said softly. I nodded and started towards the gift shop where they sold items.

"Actually, I'll join you. I'm a little thirsty," I heard Dash say, as he caught up to me. I grinded my teeth together and took a deep breath to calm myself for what was about to happen.

It was silent as we walked toward the elevator, but once we entered it he started, "We need to talk," he said without looking at me.

"Yeah, I think we do," I said through my teeth.

"What happened at the beach last night Reed?" he asked looking at me deeply.

"I thought you were Josh for a moment. I wanted him to be there, to be holding me, to be the one comforting me. So, when I pictured him in my head and opened my eyes I saw him. But, once I kissed you-which was a mistake-I realized it wasn't him and I ran," I said as we walked out of the elevator towards the gift shop, that was only a few steps away.

"Thats not fair to me Reed. If you haven't noticed, this whole friends thing isn't working for me," he said as we entered the gift shop.

I started looking at the snacks on the wall, but really trying to think about what I was about to say. I hadn't talked to Josh yet. I couldn't get the guts to tell him what happened. I couldn't hurt him again, I just couldn't. And talking to him, hearing his voice, I was afraid that I would just break down. So until I knew everything was okay, I would ignore his calls.

"Reed?" Dash said as he snapped me out of my train of thoughts.

"I'm sorry Dash," I mumbled as I grabbed a small bag of pretzels and a gatorade. I walked over to the the cash register and saw the cashier, an older lady, standing there.

"Hi there. Is this everything?" she asked, with a small european accent.

"Yes, thank you," I said politley.

"That will be three dollars and eighty-five cents," she said and I handed her the money. "Thanks," I said to her and she smiled.

Dash was still looking at the snacks so I saw the prime opportunity to run back to the waiting room.

I walked to the elevator, got on, then the doors opened when I arrived to the third floor. I walked out, and saw Noelle's doctor talking to Mr. and Mrs. Lange.

They were in a deap conversation, and Mr. Lang looked very serious. Kiran was up and walked towards me, "Where were you?" she asked.

"I went to get something to eat and drink. How's Noelle?" I asked and she just shrugged, we both stood watching the doctor and Noelle's parents walk off to a hospital room.

I signed and went to sit in my chair. Dash came back and walked over to me, "Where did Noelle's parents go?"

"I don't know. I think maybe to Noelle's room, the doctor was with them," I said looking at the room they just entered.

He nodded, and sat next to me. Kiran eventually sat down in her seat, and Amberley still was playing with her iPod touch.

After-what I would say twenty mintues-Noelle's parents walked out of the room, and looked relieved. Noelle's mother was the first to speak as they came toward us, and Amberley turned off her iPod.

"She's going to be okay. The doctor said that she will have a full recovery as long as she follows the directions given," Mrs. Lange said, and smiled. We all took signed of relief than to me she said, "Reed, Noelle wants to speak with you."

"She does?" I asked, a little shocked. I got up and walked toward Mrs. Lange.

"Yes," she said and smiled. "But before you go in there, she's very weak right now, you probably know the feeling with you accident. So, take it easy on her for now. She really cares about you a lot, and thinks of you as her little sister," she said softly.

"Thanks," I said and she nodded.

I walked towards the room Noelle was in and took a deap breath before I opened the door and entered the room. It occured to me then, Noelle was so forgiving about what happen with Dash and me, but could I be? I shrugged the thought off and walked towards Noelle.

She was lying on her hospital bed, looking right at me with a slight smile. She looked so pale and weak, her hair was disheveled going in all directions and looked so small in the bed.

"Hi," she barely squeeked.

"Hi," I said. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," she said and I sat in the chair that was close to her bed, facing towards it. "They said I will be fine."

"Good," I said with relief. "Do you know, who.." I stumbled off. I couldn't come out and ask her who shot her. That would be a little intense.

"No. I don't remember. I blacked out," she said quietly. "I would rather not talk about it right now."

I nodded, "I understand."

"Listen Reed. I know your probably really upset with me right now, and I understand. But I need you right now Reed. I need my best friend right now," she said softly.

I didn't know if I could ever forgive her. She knew so much and left me with so little. But, she needed me. She needed her friend, I just didn't know if I could be that.

"I'm here for you," I lied. I was a lying, cheating, bitch and deserved nothing.

"Thanks," she and smiled.

"Listen, I better leave, Kiran is probably going crazy knowing I'm with you right now, and she looked like she was going tear down the door a few hours ago," I tried to laugh.

"Yeah. I'll see you later," she said and laughed.

"Yeah, later. Get some rest," I said as I walked toward the door.

When I opened it and took one glance back at her I knew my decision then. I knew what I was going to be able to do. I knew, even though I hated Noelle and wanted to stay away from her as much as possible, I couldn't. She was my big, annoying sister, that I always wanted. She always tried to protect me, even though it was in her own, sick and twisted way, she protected me as much as possible. I just hoped Josh would understand...

--

_So what do you think? Should I have taken some more time off from writing? Please tell me, because I always listen to you reviews. You all are helping me grow as a writer! If you do you like it though, I will update again this weekend! And, Josh will be coming back into the picture soon! So please, read and review! _

_xoxo Marie _


	12. Your Dirty Little Slutty Secret

**Chapter 12-**

"Josh, for the tenth time, I'm fine. You don't have to come here," I said, again. It was Christmas Eve, and Josh had been calling every hour ever since two nights ago. He started to get really worried in the messages and threatened that if I didn't call him that he was going to come here. I knew it was time to call him and I was ready to talk to him-at least I hoped...

"Are you sure? I could go down there and then we could leave after Christmas and fly up to New York. It's not that big of a deal," he asked. He was so sweet, always doing whatever he needed to do to protect me. I didn't deserve him at all.

I had told him that Noelle did in fact know about Sabine, and he didn't take it too well. I quote 'that psycho bitch isn't going to even be able to look at you once I get done with her. I knew she was screwed up, but to know something like this and know that Sabine was out to get you, is not just screwed up, but fucked up!' I felt the same way he did, but I had told Noelle that I would stay with her right now and be there for her. I hadn't really gotten into any real conversation with her, I was trying to avoid it.

I also didn't tell Josh about me kissing Dash. I couldn't. I wouldn't. As long as I lived, that would be my dirty, little slutty, secret. I just had to confirm things with Dash first that he would keep his mouth shut.

"I'm fine Josh. It's only five more days and then we have New Years. Don't worry, I want you to have a good Christmas with your family," I said, trying to reassure him that I was totally and completely fine. Even though, I wasn't. I was far from it. But I couldn't be selfish and ruin his christmas.

"What about you? What are you going to do for Christmas? Sit around with someone who's a psycho and her boyfriend?"

"Don't worry Josh. I've been avoiding her and it's been working. I'm fine, so please go and have a great Christmas Eve," I said.

"Fine. You can be so stubborn," he joked.

"I know," I laughed. "I've gotta go. Love you."

"Love you to," he said and with that he was gone.

--

I walked out of the bathroom and saw Kiran sitting on her twin bed, flipping through Vogue. "Hey," she said looking up from her magazine.

"Hey. I'm going to go in town and pick up a few things, I'll be back later," I said as I put my cell in my Chloe bag and put it over my shoulder.

"Okay. I would come but I don't want Noelle being alone. Remember we have dinner plans tonight at seven here, so don't be late," she said, looking back at her magazine.

"I'll only be gone for two hours. See ya," I waved and walked out of the room, through the hallway to the front door and left.

--

I didn't have to pick anything up, I just needed to get out of the house. I had already gotten Noelle a Gucci necklace pendant that she thought was adorable. I personally didn't like Gucci jewelry, but we were shopping in New York a few weeks ago and stopped at the Gucci store, and Noelle fell in love with the necklace. I told her not to buy it, so I did instead.

I ended up getting Kiran a new Chanel clutch -with help from Noelle- that I knew she would think is adorable and her style. And I had gotten Josh a full paint set, filled with fifteen different brushes and thirty different paint colors. I also had gotten him a book that featured the best paintings through out history that I knew he would love. Noelle gave me one of her gifts that she was going to give Dash since I didn't know he was coming. It was a personally signed Jason Witten football jersey, who played for the Dallas Cowboys. I guess Dash was a fan, personally I hated the cowboys.

I walked around main street then stopped at the small coffee shop that sold delicious pastries. I walked inside and shivered some, it was somewhat cold. I loved the mellow style that the made up in the shop, warm browns and pinks. Comfy chairs and tables. I had spent most of my time here throughout the trip.

I walked up to the counter and ordered an iced black tea and a cheese danish.

I found a loney table by the window that sat two and went to sit. I brought out Beowolf that was on the reading list for school and started to read while I ate.

I as only on page thirty-three when I felt a preasence hovering over me. I looked up only to see Dash staring at me intently.

"Can I sit?" he asked-more like demanded-in a hard voice.

"Sure," I said but he already had sat across from me. "So...."

"Listen Reed, I'm an idiot. I've been crushing over you and forgot about Noelle. Everything I felt about you was just a stupid crush, and the feelings are gone," he said harshly. I was somewhat hurt in a way. Just a few days ago he had said that he had true feelings for me, and now he made it all a mockery. But it was done with. I no longer had to worry about him.

"Good," I said even more harshly and went back to reading my book. I could only stare at the words, they weren't getting into my head.

"Fine. It was great having this little chat," he said through his teeth and started to get up.

"Wait," I said suddenly. I needed to confirm this with him. I couldn't let him ruin my life, again. "You won't tell anyone what happened will you? Because if you do, I'll tell what you did also."

"Don't worry, your dirty little slutty secret is safe with me. Your little boyfriend Josh won't be hurt. But if you dare tell Noelle, I'll hurt you and your little boyfriend, much worse," he said and stormed out of the coffee shop.

Dirty little slutty secret, is exactly what Josh said to me, when I tried to apologize to him about what happened at Legacy, which hurt. I couldn't believe Dash had threatened me. That if I said anything to Noelle, he would hurt me AND Josh even worse. That sent a shiver up my spine.

Oh. My. God. Could it have been Dash who shot Noelle? He wouldn't. He couldn't, well yes he could. Very easliy actually. All he needed was a gun. And a motive. And with the feeling my gut had, I think he had both...

--

_So..what do you think? I told you I would update again this weekend. The next update will be a little longer, and so will the chapter. Sorry if this one is short, it's my shortest so far, behind my first chapter. I didn't get to incorporate Josh into this chapter, only the phone conversation, but he will be in it more starting the next chapter. I decided to go for a change in the story. At first I wanted Dash to be good, but I don't see it happening. Thanks for the reviews also! So, please read and review some more (their so helpful), and I'm planning on updating again Wednesday! Hope you liked!_

_xoxo Marie_


	13. The deeper you dig, deeper the lies get

_Hey everyone. I'm sorry I haven't updated for quite a while.  
I feel terrible. I've had a major writers block and I felt that the next chapter wasn't as good as the rest.  
And since I'm such a perfectionist (yes, even with these things) I wanted to make sure it was perfect.  
So here it is. Hope it was worth the long wait! _

_

* * *

_

Chapter 13

After my sudden revelation I walked back towards Noelle's home. I had been avoiding a conversation with her ever since she admitted about knowing Sabine, so it was time to speak up. I had many questions for her to answer, and I knew some she wouldn't like.

Once I got to the house and walked through the front door, I started to yell Noelle's name. "Noelle! Noelle, I need to talk to you!"

After a few minutes of yelling out for her, she suddenly appeared. "What's up," she asked and gave me a smile.

"I need to ask you a few questions if you don't mind. Maybe we should go into the living room," I suggested. She nodded and I followed her to the living room.

Once we sat she gave me a puzzled look then said, "So, what do you want to know?"

"The police questioned you the other day at the hospital, right," I asked.

"Yeah," she said curiously and gave me a strange look.

"Did they say if they had any leads to whom shot you?"

She looked down to her lap and folded her hands together, "No, they haven't," she said and sighed.

"I know this is tough for you to talk about, I totally understand. But, do you have a feeling of who did it?"

"Not really. I just remember I saw a tall black statue and then I blacked out. That's it," she said and looked up at me with desperate eyes. I felt bad for her. At least I knew who shot me, but she had no idea.

"Okay well for the fun of it, lets cross off some possible names. I was walking on the beach, and Amberley had called me to tell me to come back to the house, so I can look you straight in the eyes and say I didn't hurt you. Kiran stayed a while with you, then left for a walk. Amberley was driving her car to come over. Your parents didn't arrive till that night. That just leaves us one person Noelle, Dash." Once I said his name she looked at me with hate.

"Reed how could you think that? Dash would never try to hurt me, you should know that," she yelled as she got up and stood in front of me.

"Well Noelle, I really don't know that. I'm just trying to find out who did this to you and..." I was cut off by a smiling Amberley coming to sit next to me on the couch.

"Hello ladies, what are we talking about?" She asked.

"Well Reed here is trying to say that Dash was the one who shot me," Noelle spat. Amberley nodded her head in understanding.

"Actually Noelle, I agree with Reed," Amberley said calmly.

"You do?" Me and Noelle said in unison.

"Yeah. He's the only one with a shaky alibi, that's all. We're just trying to help you here Noelle, remember that," Amberley said in a calming voice. For only being a freshman, at times she was very mature for her age.

"But he would never do that," Noelle said and started to pace back and forth frantically. "He would never hurt me, we've been together for so long and he loves me," she cried.

Yeah right. I thought to myself. Just a few days ago he told me that he had strong feelings for me. Look what happened after that.

"She's right Noelle," I said. I agreed with Amberley.

"It's really cute trying to help and play cop, but let the Police do there job," Noelle snapped and with that she stormed up to her room.

"She's right Reed in a way," Amberley said after the moment of silence. "You should know, the deeper you dig, the deeper the lies get," and with that she followed Noelle up to her room.

I just sighed frusturated and walked to the beach, where I knew Karen was laying out. I needed to see what she thought about this whole web of drama. That's what my life had become to, a web of drama that I couldn't deal with much longer.

I walked through the sliding class door, pass the pool and onto the beach where I saw Kiran laying under an umbrella and on a chair. She was reading a magazine when I walked up to her.

"Hey," I said as I sat down in the chair next to hers.

"Hey, whats up," she asked as she put her magazine down to look at me and gave me a small smile.

"So, I just talked to Noelle and Amberley and we're trying to figure out-well I'm trying to figure out- who shot Noelle and when I told her my suspect, she kind of freaked out," I said. That was the understatement of the week.

"Who's your suspect," Kiran asked, looking intrigued as she took off her black Chanel sunglasses.

"Okay, don't freak out on me to, but I think maybe it was...," I looked down at my hands in my lap then took a deep breath and said, "Dash." I looked up to her and she looked like she was contemplating something.

"Well, I guess I could see that. But why would he? I can't think of a motive," she said and I thought I might as well tell her what I thought.

"You know Noelle, she's very flirtatious with guys, right," I asked. Kiran nodded her head and I continued, "Well maybe over their last split Noelle was seeing someone and maybe kept in contact with that person. Dash might have found out that she's still talking to whomever that person could be, and he lost it," I said and shrugged my shoulders.

"True, but she would've slipped by now," Kiran said.

"Oh come on, it's Noelle we're talking about. The girl who knows everything and keeps everything hidden, it's like her special gift. Especially something that could ruin her," I said trying to be persuasive. I always did well in debate class.

"Yeah, I guess your right. I'll try to get her slip, I always have my own special tricks to get dirt out of her. But for now, just relax Reed, your looking a little on edge," Kiran said as she layed back down on her chair and put her sunglasses on.

"Fine," I said and got up from the chair, "Tell me though if you get anything," and with that I left.

------

I walked back into the house and the first thing I noticed were the two police officers and detective speaking to Amberley. They were sitting in the living room, and Noelle was standing by the front door. God, what now? I thought to myself.

I walked up to Noelle who wasn't looking at me and asked her, "What's going on?"

She still wouldn't look at me as she said, "Well, the people that actually have a job that is working for the law are doing it. So don't worry," she spat at me. I gave her a confused look then she added, "The cops are going to speak with everyone to clarify everything."

"Oh," I said and let out of sigh of relief. Me or Kiran were probably next. "Did they talk to Dash," I asked.

"No," she snapped and turned her attention to glare at me, "He's last."

"Mmmm..." Is all I could say. "I'm going to take a nap, I'm tired," I said.

"Whatever," I heard her murmur before I walked up the stairs to call Josh. I needed to talk to him. I missed him so much, but I knew it would only be a few more days till I got to spend two weeks with him. Three more days to be exact.

I walked up to my room and grabbed my cell out of my purse and dialed Josh' number.

"Hey," he said as he picked up. "So how's everything going down there in Paradise."

"Hah, at this moment it's more like Paradise Lost," I chuckled. "I miss you."

"I miss you to," he said I heard him sigh in the back round.

"Only three more days! I'm so excited to see you and get away from this place," I said and smiled even though he couldn't see it I knew he could hear it in my voice.

"I know. So any suspects yet miss detective," he asked and let out a small laugh.

"Well, I actually have one....." I said. Then quickly added, "....Dash."

"Really? That's interesting. He isn't being a jerk to you, is he," Josh asked, concerned.

"No," I lied. "He hasn't been anything."

"Good," he said and I yawned. "Someone tired? Being the little detective you are, must be tiring," he chuckled.

"Yeah, it is. I'm going to take a nap. But call me later, okay?"

"Of course. Love you," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Love you to," and with that I hung up and fell to my bed.

The moment I shut my eyes I saw Amberley's face from the conversation earlier. "_She's right Reed in a way. You should know, the deeper you dig, the deeper the lies get._" Before when she spoke those words I didn't think anything of them, but now they sent a chill down my spine. "_Th__e deeper you dig, the deeper the lies get_," talk about the story of my life...

* * *

_So what do you think? I know I've been saying Josh will be coming back soon, and he is! Just not in this chapter. Or the next, but he will be in it in the one after that, I promise. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I will try to update again this weekend. If I don't don't hate me, I'm just trying to make the story perfect for you all! Please review!_

_xoxo Marie_


	14. Author's Note

Author's Note-

(I hate doing this Author's Note)  
It's been a while since I've updated last, and I'm sooo sorry.  
I have recently gotten very busy with life and also with the holidays.

Plus I have had a major writers block. As I mentioned my past few chapters. My updates started to get longer and longer.  
I personally feel that this story isn't as good as others that I have read, and really started to get bored with the story itself.

But it doesn't matter about me, the reason I write is for you wonderful readers and reviewers.  
So, the choice is up to you!  
1) I TRY and finish out this story, even though it's not all great.  
or  
2) You tell me nicely that I shouldn't even bother  
or  
3) I delete this (or keep it, whatever you all want) and rewrite it, making it MUCH better!

So, please tell me what you think, because I WILL be waiting!

Hope everyone had a great Holidays and lets think of this as a holiday gift from me to you since I was thinking about giving up on this all together!

xoxo Marie!!!


	15. Author's Note 2 I'm so stupid

Author's Note 2

Okay, so I feel kind of stupid since I just read the first chapter of paradise lost  
(you can find it on .com)

Anyway, I'm not going to say that I had this other idea that Ivy got shot, blah, blah, blah. Because I had no idea!  
I can't believe I didn't think about it! I feel so stupid!

Needless to say, I was way wrong.  
So I'm not finish this story because, what's the point?

Especially since, what's the point if I can write a new story of where the first chapter of paradise lost was left off!

Yes, I'm going to start a new story of where the first chapter was left off!  
I must say, I'm pretty excited to start it too!

So, if you guys could just review and tell me if I should keep this story up or delete it, it would help alot!

I'm going to start writing the first chapter tonight!  
So it should be up by the end of the weekend!

And I'm going to TRY and do a lot of updates, to finish this new story quick since Paradise Lost comes out in a month!  
Yeah!

Anyway, keep your eyes opened for the new story!

xoxo Marie!!!


End file.
